The Hanging Gardens

The gardens they hang, THE GARDENS, THEY HANG. They hang down in my face, Spit them out they’re nasty. Babylon had some, and that’s where I am…Babylon. The king will see me now, and there’s nowhere to run. Off I go.

Fly away, I want to fly away but I can’t. Spit on the floor, like it matters. I did just that and the penis in the vagina haha whee. Sorry, I forgot to say I also have split personality.

I walk up to the robed gentleman and the gardens once again hang on the walls. Not a euphemism. I can see nothing, don’t worry.

“Why are you in front of me?” He asked.

“I want to go back to my own time. No offence, but in my time you haven’t even seen a thousandth of the amazing life that we have. I know this is a long shot but do you or one of your funky gods have, like, a time machine or teleporter or something. Just something that’ll get me back to where I want to go.”

“Hmm.” How was he even considering this? I was fully prepared to be executed for heresy or crazy talkin’ or something how would he be genuinely considering what I was saying. For that matter, how was he even speaking English? “I have a time machine but I don’t know how it works. If you program it for me, please take me along with you.”

I gasped. “No way in hell, gramps.”

“I’m clearly younger than you. Do it or you die.”

He was right, I have no idea why I was protesting. “You got it, now get me out of these cuffs.”

“Your what?” He asked. I looked down and saw a complete lack of manacles clasped around my wrists.

“Oh…” I said, “My bad. So nothing’s stopping me from running away. For that matter I’m not even a prisoned.”

“Of course you’re not a prisoner, what gave you that idea?”

I said nothing but motioned him over. He looked confused once again and I realised that I was the one who would have to follow him. He took me through the winding corridors, with each turn the sunlight having less of a stranglehold on our light. Eventually, all that was left was stone, hanging gardens, and us.

The guards weren’t even following me, like they were just waiting for me to kill this guy. Well I wasn’t, so suck it. We got to the machine…it was made of stone. There was a single hand hole to stick one’s hand in. I stuck my hand in and the whole thing powered on.

“I feel like this is something you should have figured out yourself. Where do you wanna go? The 80s? The 1880s? The 1780s?”

“No, I want to go to your time.”

“2080s it is.” I said before a flash of light eminated from the machine and…everything looked exactly the same. The torches went out but were then reilluminated by the machine. I motioned him over and we walked out the same way we came. Then I noticed it, the first piece of technology I had seen in eons. A piece of scrap metal. As it turns out people were using this ruin as a dumping spot for scrap. Fun times.

We got to work clearing every piece of metal that didn’t belong. It would take a while. Time.