The Twin Island

The twin island is a place which many of us call home. It is our home, there is no questioning it. Between here and space there is nothing. A double humped island with a single highway snaking around it. None of us even live anywhere except the base. The base is where our homes are. I’m sorry to any of my fellow countrymen who I am glossing over but the people have to know what it’s like to be alive. This message is being sent out into the void and as such we could be broadcast to every dead human being, I don’t wanna waste their time. I wanna show them what it’s like being alive in a non-judgemental way. Shaking my damn head.

I was walking down the highway. Strictly speaking you’re not supposed to do that but I’m like that, y’know? There were arms reaching out to stop me, thinking I was a jumper. I wasn’t a jumper, though. There was no way I could be a jumper because if you fall off you end up back home again. I don’t know why the government and the people waste the time and energy but maybe it’s a scheme to launder money or something. And if there was money I would be very worried. Ah well, such is life…so to speak.

The island and I have a history, much as it does with everyone else. The tension that I feel having to relive the shit I went through on here is kind of insane. But you always relive it, no matter what. If you stop, you fall into the void. The present and the past have a tendency to merge themselves sometimes. The quality leaves some wanting but the flesh has numerous appendages. Sorry about that.

I finished walking the entire highway and made it back home. I took hours to walk but time remained constant so looks like I’m not gonna be fed tonight. It doesn’t matter though, we don’t eat. I like to keep my food as a status symbol. Becky thinks she’s the shit with her boiled carrots, but I’ve managed to get an entire pumpkin so I guess who’s laughing now? Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to insult her or the island, I’m not sure the island cares but it’s better safe than sorry.

Tap tap tap tap tap goes the door. The door isn’t opening so I assume a creature of weaker strength is attempting to get in. I open the door and microscopic Andy has greeted me.

“Oh hey Andrew, you escape from that eternal damnation yet?”

“Nah,” he replied, “I’m on break. You have no idea what being tortured for all eternity can do to your stress levels. I meditate twice a day so I’m safe. I went with once a day but the nightmares began coming back. Such is life here on double hump island.”

“It’s just the island. Calling it that overly sexualises the inanimate collection of dirt and grass.”

“Right, sorry.”

We stood in awkwardness. Me and Andy didn’t have much of a rapport but we are the only people who know each other. I didn’t mention my wife but she hasn’t existed in centuries. Another jumper.

I put on my jumper and walked out, trying carefully to not step on Andy. I took one last look back and…that son of a bitch was stealing my pumpkin.

“HEY!” I shouted as he hauled it off with the strength of a thousand microscopic men. “Don’t take my fucking pumpkin!”

I phrased it like a warning but I knew damn well he was going to die tonight. I raised the pumpkin up…and squish. Time to go back to the highway.