Cumulonimbus

High in the clouds, that’s how I wanna be. I am the master of this document you don’t dick with me boy. The professor kept rambling on and on about this at the front of the class as if he was just broadcasting his inner thoughts on whatever subject passed his mind to the mirror. “And furthermore,” he began again, “We always need to bring this back to clouds, they do actually have personalities as well.”

The whole room was parted from its usual boisterousness and all were silent. We all knew this guy had a degree in meteorology so he…wait was it meteorology or metrology? What class am I even in anyway? I guess it had to be the weather one or else why would we be in this situation ,with this crazy person telling us about clouds. “There are clouds that take the bus, ones that…” oh god don’t say it, “…ride the train as well.” Well shit now I really don’t know what class I’m in.

I kept looking for any hint of leaning one way or the other but this professor seemed to be adamant on not giving any clear hints about what class this is. I could check my room but I feel like that would be cheating. Life is about risk and what’s riskier than missing out on some knowledge? Eh? The room around me was more gelatinous than I am usually used to. Usually there’s a little wobble but right now it was seriously becoming difficult to hear the professor. The sound was just refracting all over the place. And oh boy the next part was just crazy to me.

“Look, I think it would just be easier to show you what I’m talking about,” and he promptly left the room. After exchanging a few confused looks with my classmates we all decided to follow him out and onto the tarmac of the street. “Okay, everyone hop in,” he said, motioning to the car. There were only about 7 of us but trying to fit in a normal four-door car was a big ask. I managed to sneak into the front seat so, hooray for me, and hooray for the other three people who managed to snag the back seats. But after that most of them would have to snugly fit in the boot. Luckily the car’s body was completely see-through and they would be able to see what would be coming.

After we all got in the professor looked at me, in his sweater, “Hey, did you wanna drive?” I looked at him boggle-eyed, “Are you sure? I didn’t want to damage your car or anything.”

“Oh don’t you worry, I have interdimensional insurance, so if you crash the car later I should be receiving a payment from a richer version of me right about…” He jammed the key in the ignition and roared the engine into life, “…now!” We all looked around but no interdimensional portals opened up, “Damn, oh well maybe next time one of us could crash the car.”

I was a pretty good driver but I was more just trying to cover my own ass here. I fiddled with the many peddles on the floor and eventually we were off. High above I could see our planned neighbourhood, with its jet-black roads and houses that were heavily slanted only distinguished by a small paint-job. And by small I meant you really could only see them with microscopy.

There weren’t any clouds in sight, even from way up here, so we would have to venture through the purple sky. “So where would we be able to find some clouds, then?” I asked.

“Oh, just keep going forward, this car has negative four cylinders so we should be able to find it within the next five minutes.”

That vague answer really made me curious, “Okay, are you a meteorologist or a metrologist? Are you a train guy or a weather guy?”

He chortled, “Oh I’m neither. Got no degree I just know stuff.”

“Stuff? What stuff?”

“Well, I don’t have any qualifications, but the board members knew from what I told them that I know what I’m…WAIT STOP!” he shouted.

I obliged and pressed hard on three of the seven brakes, “There it is,” he said excitedly.

Oh…oh yeah it was all worth it.