The Teacher And The Aliens

The teacher slammed his down on the student’s table “Boy have you ever seen an alien?” he screamed. The boy shook his head.

“N-no, I haven’t,” Stuttered the boy

“You’re damn right you haven’t, If any of you decide that it’s ‘funny’ to joke about aliens, I’ll show you damn well first hand what they did to me.” he said pointing to his eyepatch. “Damn things get into yah system. They probe the hell outta yah and leave you as if you’re nuts or somethin.” He said slamming his fist on the desk. He steered himself to the whiteboard and started writing barely ledgible notes on pirates.

“But…but how can you be sure that an alien took you?” A student in the back said. The teacher shot his glance towards the back row

“Oh I see, someone wasn’t listening to me!” The teacher gripped his eyepatch and ripped it off revealing an array of blinking lights where his eye should be. “This,” he said pointing to his eye hole “is an alien tracking device, those damn aliens are looking for me but I know as long as I drink a glass of milk every hour I’m good.” He reached over to his desk and took a sip of milk.

The one student who wasn’t pulling a horrified face spoke up “Wait, it looks like you just glued a bunch of LEDs to your eye hole.”

The teacher looked at him “Oh, okay,” he gripped one of the lights and yanked it out. What came out was an LED attatched to a battery. Everyone in the class stared at it, “Excuse me class, I have a roommate I have to kill.” He shoved open the door and stormed out. The students stared at eachother.

“I guess there’s no more class then.”