The Slug And The Lizard

The slug

“You see, contrary to popular belief the slug is actually a very majestic creature.” said the slug as he spat mucus all over the Lizard’s armour. The Lizard attempted to rub the mucus off leaving a fine paste on his chestplate.

“Hey bartender” said the Lizard in a deep, raspy voice “Get me your strongest ale, I want to pass out as soon as possible.”

“One gutbuster coming up.” As the Lizard grabbed his drink he turned to the slug as he leant on the bar.

“Unlike you legged folk us slugs are free to glide wherever we please,” he said as he released fine mists of goo into the air.

“Yes but at least I don’t leave a shiny mess wherever I go.” The Lizard said staring at the bright red drink that was slowly dissolving his mug. The wind blew through the tavern slowly rocking the tree it was delicately perched on. The murmur of the crowds continued unchanged “I prefer being able to walk around without having everyone knowing exactly where I’ve been since the start of the day.”

“Yes but how did you get to this tavern? I’m pretty sure that unless you know how to levitate you had to climb for at least twenty minutes. Me on the other hand, I can just “walk” up and…”

“Wait!” he interrupted “Was that you that made it so slippery and hard to climb up?” he said, raising his voice.

“Err,” the slug erred “I’d better go, starting to go dark and…” He snatched up a drink and downed it. The lizard and him stared in horror at the glasses. His drink was still sitting on the bar, he was holding the empty glass for the gutbuster. “I don’t feel too…” was all that he could say before an almighty explosion rocked the tavern. Mucus and bits of guts coated every wall and wrapped snug around every patron. The Lizard hoisted himself up and scooped handfuls of sludge off of his armour he’d bought the day before.

“It’s not just a name, you know,” said the bartender, still cleaning glasses and remaining unphased.